Nerd Memorium

Hello my friends, and thank you for gathering here today. I found out today that a dear friend whom I've known for 3 years fell into a coma around 1:30AM last night. I was informed of his state late this afternoon and had to make the decision to terminate. Rest in Peace my dear friend, my dear dear modem.

RIP modem

Now onto the rant.

So I woke up this morning to a knocking at my door, turned out they were doing an inspection of the apartments in my complex, so as they were entering I was throwing some pants on (yeah, soak that in ladies), I had boxers, so nothin' was floppin' around. Anyway, after that was over with I was gonna hop online to check out my daily sites, and what do my peepers peep? A whole lot of nothing, zuh connection vuz deyd!

After going through the mandatory checks and power cycles I was drawing a blank. So I had to resort to calling Comcast. They said they'd send a guy out between 2 & 4. He showed up around 5:30, of course. It was then his turn for all the mandatory checks and cycles. After that didn't work he cut and re-ended all of my cables and gave me new splitters saying that there was some magic noise that doesn't like the internet part of a cable and makes it not work, but it doesn't care about the tv part of that cable, I think his exact words were "fuck your stupid tv".. or something like that (the guy was actually one of the nicest guys I dealt with all day).

I digress.. After all that didn't work he broke out his own modem and after some finagling he got that working. Hence the diagnosis from above. I thanked him, he said sorry, I said no need unless it was you who murdered my dear friend.

Field trip time! Best Buy, then Freddy's, then Radio Shack, then back to Best Buy. It's surprising how many places carry Wireless Routers but no Modems. I went with a Motorola 'surfboard', "over 50 million sold" apparently. Hopefully they weren't sold to people looking for a doorstop.

Got it all hooked up and then I was confronted with a Comcast screen when trying out Google as a test. Hm, ok, good sign, at least I'm connecting to the internet. I tried clicking on one of the download links and was able to DL a 3mb file in less than a couple seconds, woo hoo back in bin-iss, or WAS I, dun dun dunnnnnnn!

I called up ol' 1-800-Comcast, gave my info and explained the situation, I got to the point where they were gonna "dispatch a truck" tomorrow, and I was like

- "whuh? why, I'm obviously online, you guys just have to do something on your end. I remember years ago when I got my modem I talked with someone who took my info and I was online in no time"

- "We can send a truck out tomorrow"

- "... is there someone with a little more technical experience I can speak with?"

- "one moment sir" ...........

Minutes pass of horrible 'hold' music, and then I'm listening to the f'n menu again. So now I'm back to square one, and I start following the menu. And I get to the 'speak with a rep' selection. I give my info again, and spit my story, only to find out that I'm speaking with the billing department... I'm currently all paid up in case you were wondering.

That gentleman was kind enough to transfer me to someone that knew what they were doing, and in about 5 minutes I was up and running. All she did was add my modem info to my account/their database and I was set. And to top it off she was like "I dunno why no one did that for you, I knew how to do that before I even got a job here".. god bless you America.

Persistence is KEY!

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Life

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