Fuck You Can, I Am Man!

Ok, so I've been packing, trashing, and storage-ing(?) my shit for about a week now. I had everything fairly well planned out until today. The night before I finally got my whole kitchen packed. And I mean packed, it was like Tetris but with canned goods and kitchen wares.

So my plan for food during the move was real basic. Tuna fish sandwiches. You got meat and bread, what else do you need. Well apparently, a can opener you fuck tard.

I'd been packing and taking shit to storage today, and I was f'n starving. So I plop that can on my counter and turn to get my can opener out like I've been doing for years. Then that realization hit me, "awwww shiiiiit, you packed it dumbass". I stood there for a second thinking "maybe I'll just go get some fast food".. "fuck that, I can get this can open". The search began for something that I could use to cut that little cylinder of food open.

At this point I only had a few tools still unpacked. Some pliers, a screw driver, a pair of scissors. I went back to the can, stared at it for a bit. I felt bested, by an inanimate object and my own stupidity. I turned around, defeated and hungry. Then I saw it. A bottle opener that was still magnetically attached to the side of my frig. On a side note, the years that I've been in this apartment I'd used that thing maybe twice. Well, I was gonna use the hell out of it today.

I went to work on that can. To the point where there were a bunch of little dents and the lid was bent inward but still no punctures. Again that feeling of defeat started to over take me. But hunger is a great motivator so I gave it one more shot and was finally able to punch a hole in the lid. After a couple more hole I was able to get the pliers in there and start peeling back the lid. A couple more rounds of the same procedure and I was finally able to get me some food.

Thank you opposable thumbs.

Tags:
Humorous, Life

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My name's Trevor Lemon, and this is my blog. I'll try to update it with whatever I'm working on, random thoughts, links to shit I think is cool; whatever I deem worthy I suppose.

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