Mad Libs make me smile


Four hundred years ago people knew little about our round universe. They thought that the earth was the center of the entire car and that the sun and all of the dogs revolved around it. But then a/an Swede named Copernicus discovered the truth. The earth revolves around the ball 69 times a year.

Copernicus, whose last name was Schwartzenager, was born in Warsaw, and he used one of the first pointy telescopes, which was invented by Trevor. This primitive telescope was little more than two pieces of burger stuck on each end of a battery. In 1600 an Italian stripper named Galileo expanded Copernicus's pissed off theories, but during the Inquisition in Italy he was happily arrested. After humping for six months in jail, Galileo was forced to destroy.


The best part of waking up, is Folg.. wait, I don't drink coffee

MmmMm, nuthin' better than my 6x6 breakfast. 6 eggs, and 6 sausage (I couldn't wait, and ate 2 of them). Man I could eat breakfast for every meal.

6x6 breakfast


My hat goes off to you unkown soldier

So today was another gloriously shitty day of apartment hunting. I'm starting to think that October wasn't the right month to put in notice... anyway. My day wasn't completely bad. I was waiting at a bus stop out in the Beaverton area, drinking some chai from my trusty bullet thurmis. And I slump down a bit on the bench (relaxing for the first time today), and I look off to my right, and what do my hazels see? Some guy really working a giant Quiznos cup costume. He was wigglin' and struttin', then suddenly all the rage in me subsided... and I believe my heart grew 3 sizes and I realized that Christmas didn't need presents but just the ones you cared about...

Man, it was one of those moments that I wish I carried a video camera with me so I could savor that forever. So to the unknown soldier manning that beautifully over sized soft-drink cup... I salute you sir.


Ok, so I've got another McD thing. I was sortin' through some crap the other day, prepping to move. Anyway, came across this thing I cut off a McD's cup bout 4 years ago. I know, little weird, who keeps something like that, well I just had to have proof of something like this.

So like I said, bout 4 years ago, me and some friends were eating lunch and one of my friends looked at my cup and was like, "hmm, does that look wierd to you?", I looked at it... "I dunno". And he was like, "it looks like the fries are raping the coke". I looked at it again, "holy shit, you're right".

And we had a good conversation about it, and as you can see, there's an exclamation after the "aahhh", if it was a nice calm "ahhh" (like you'd have with a delighted sigh of enjoyment) then no rape, but there's an exclamation, and it doesn't look like the bottle's having fun, it's being pushed over and held onto by the evil red fries... mmm delicious fries... but yeh, rape.

Rapey McDonalds cup

Funny, Randomness

Public Transportation

Ok, so I haven't had the best of luck on the bus for the past couple weekends. I have the ability to either get off way before my stop or way after. Today I had better luck, got off at the right stop, yay for me. But to digress, on my way home from my little excursion some dick in the back of the bus just randomly yelled out "You're the worse driver I know", and it was pretty quiet when this happened. Nobody said anything for about a minute, the little bit of chatter that was going on just halted. I haven't ridden the bus for a while (I try to walk wherever I need to go), but speaking from my years of experience riding Portland transit, this guy was driving like all the other bus drivers... well the normal drivers I guess... he was driving normal is what I'm trying to say.


Our tax dollars at work

So I was takin' a stroll up to the Rose Garden. And there was this fire truck parked on the side of the road, and 3 firefighters huddled around a fire hydrant. One guy was trying to open the hydrant from the top... or something, I dunno really, he had some kind of wrench around the top nut. And the other two guys were just standin' around eggin' him on, yuh know, "twist it harder" "oh you can't get it", etc. Well as I was walking by, there was this loud pop, and the firefighters got quite. Then the two guys were like "way to go, you broke it" "you weren't listening, we told you to take it off not brake it", and the guy with the wrench was just "but I was just twisting it".

It was like I was watching the PFD's version of the three stooges or something.


What Dis?

My name's Trevor Lemon, and this is my blog. I'll try to update it with whatever I'm working on, random thoughts, links to shit I think is cool; whatever I deem worthy I suppose.

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